This is a multifandom blog, and the one who runs it is called Kai, is a transman and enjoys the darkest things on earth as well as the cutest animal babies of the world. Whatever you are, you are welcome...derp
For a friend who had troubles keeping track of the different sexual orientations. Sorry for not including all of them, I included the most common ones.
The illustration for Poly, Pan and Omni are just examples, of course.
LOLOL this is so wrong
No, this is indeed correct! You can easily detect and differentiate people of various sexual orientations by their favorite activities:
Homo- and heterosexual people enjoy doing jumpy arrow magic tricks, bisexual individuals can make arrows stand still, and polysexual people use theirs to teach kids about emission/immission factors of air pollution. Not everyone is into magic and/or archery and/or environmental stuff, however. Omnisexual and pansexual folks are known for their fancy mustaches; they even compete in international mustache championships. Pansexuals usually win because of their ability to grow bigger facial hair (that they like to decorate with a single traditional bead made from the horn of a unicorn). Asexual people reject the idea that bigger is always better; they keep their faces shaved to show solidarity with omnisexual participants.
Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it”
Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect.
To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.
On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.
I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…
Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.
The lengths we go for music.
Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.
One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”
And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:
[reeeeeeally deep breath]
[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]
The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.
In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”
FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.
This is the best band post
Everyone else go home
Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this
which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,
that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that
Who does that?
This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.
More like Julius Fuckit
Pyrozod's tags for this were too hilarious not to share
Bohemian Rhapsody is no one’s favorite song, but also everyone’s favorite song. Like, when someone asks what your favorite song is you never say Bohemian Rhapsody but when it starts playing on the radio I am pretty sure you crank it up and belt out every single lyric and you don’t even care you’re so proud.
I look around at us, you know what I see? Losers. I mean, like, folks who have lost stuff. And we have, man, we have! All of us! Our homes, our families, normal lives. And usually life takes more than it gives, but not today. Today it’s given us somethin’. It has given us a chance. To give a shit. For once, not run away.